Lame Chicken Run Interviews
by Phoenix Serenity
Summary: This is a really weird interview I did an EXTREMELY long time ago, in the year 2000. In the first one, Ginger attempts to have an interview with EVHAL Mrs. Tweedy, but fails from commercials. In the second one, she still continues the plot, but has been o
1. The Commercial-Filled Interview

Disclaimer- I do not own the movie, "Chicken Run". It was made in England by two England men, on whom I forgot their names. Movie made by Pathè Productions. Thank you. **************************************************************************** **********  
  
Some Guy- This Interview was brought to you by the Interviews R Us- The BIGGEST interview publishing place in da World®. And we'd also like to thank Penmark- Where the pens are in harmony®. We'd also like to thank-  
  
Ginger- OK, OK, enough thank you's! Can we please get to the interview now?!?!?!?  
  
Some Guy- OK, OK. Can I say one more thank you?  
  
Ginger- Sure, but just ONE more.  
  
Some Guy- We'd like to thank the book, 100,000 Things to Say When You Mess Up Doing Housework. Here let me read you a few. OWWWWW!!! EEEK! A-OOGA! DA-  
  
Mrs. Tweedy- Let me see this. (She reads the words, OWWWWW!!!, EEK!, A- OOGA!, and the D-word)  
  
Ginger- Let me see. (Reads) He's right. OK now for the interview, PLEEEASE?!  
  
Some Guy- OK. OK  
  
Ginger and Mrs. Tweedy- THANK YOU!  
  
Some Guy- Just one more thank you?  
  
The Commercial-Filled Interviews  
  
By Phoenix Serenity  
  
Ginger- After some long thank you's we're finally ready to start this interview. I'm Ginger the chicken and I'm gonna to be interviewing Mrs. Tweedy.  
  
Mrs. Tweedy- About time. (Turns her head the other way)  
  
Ginger- Whatever. OK, I know you hate Rocky the Rooster-  
  
Mrs. Tweedy- Man, if I could see Rocky right now.I'd wring his little neck, then I'll chop off his little head and then I'll eat him!!! Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!  
  
Ginger- Ooookaaaaay.Now let me finish my question. Since you hate Rocky, who's the other person you hate?  
  
Mrs. Tweedy- I absoluley HATE that dolt, Mr. Tweedy.  
  
Ginger- Y-you hate your own husband?!?!?!?  
  
Mrs. Tweedy- Well, he asks me these stu-  
  
Some Guy- It's time for a commercial break.  
  
Mrs. Tweedy- Oh, nooo you don't! You're not filling this page with your stupid thank you's an' commercials.  
  
Some Guy- But-  
  
Ginger- That's right. Get outta here!!! ???????????????????????????????????????????????? Commercials  
  
(In the tune to "America")Guinea pigs- Geeet Guinea Food oh Guinea Food. The things that guinea pigs like. Get Guinea Food oh Guinea Food. It's better than riding a bike. For it's nutritious flakes of food. They will get you in very good mood So get Guinea Food oh Guinea Food  
  
For guineas' heaven sake!  
  
Toad: Tired of poop Pokemon? Bowser: Tired of stinking Starfox? Toad: Then get Funky Flips. Bowser: A game where you can play over 30000 different games in one. Toad: Also go to www.funkyflips.com for more information. Bowser: *Accidentally flips and lands on Toad.* Toad: Ouch. Bowser: Sorry.  
  
Link: Hungry for lasagna? Kotake: Drooling for pasta? Koume: Get Pasta Fiesta. Link: The pasta that makes ya burp. Kotake: Go to www.pastafiesta.com for more information. Link: *Eats all of Kotake's pasta.*  
  
Kotake: You pig!  
  
Koume: *Fight.* ???????????????????????????????????????????????? Mrs. Tweedy- Just one more commercial. My ears are about to explode. Ginger- Me too. ???????????????????????????????????????????????? Commercials  
  
Ludwig: Like funny movies? Roy: Like when the Kings do something wrong? Both: Get the King's Funniest Movies. Ludwig: Go to www.kingsfunnymovie.com for more information. Roy: And at the end at the movie, there is a very funny short show. Both: *Watch the funny short* Roy: That peanut sure is funny! Ludwig: He's not a peanut he's a pecan!!! Roy: Whatever.  
  
Nurse Joy: If a Pokemon is in need, don't stand there like an idiot. Take it to the Pokemon Center.  
  
Chansies: Chansey!  
  
Officer Jenny: If there is trouble, don't stand there like an idiot. Call me! ??????????????????????????????????????????????? Some Guy- This interview was brought to you by Sand- It's everywhere. Get use to it!  
  
Ginger- OK. OK. THAT IS ENOUGH!!!!  
  
Some Guy- Huh?  
  
Mrs. Tweedy- You know what we're talking about.  
  
Some Guy- No, stop! The greatest commercial is coming on!!!  
  
Ginger and Mrs. Tweedy- Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr. (Growls) ??????????????????????????????????????????????? Greatest Commercial  
  
Girls- ??Hackensack Zoo! Hackensack Zoo!  
  
Boys- All of our facilities are shiny and new.  
  
Girls- The animals do great tricks for you.  
  
Boys- So bring the family.  
  
Girls- and Aunt Billie, too!  
  
Girls and Boys- And come to the Hackensack Zooo!??  
  
Mr. Prescott- There are no refunds! ??????????????????????????????????????????????? Ginger- Are you done yet?  
  
Some Guy- Yup all done. Vamoose. Gone. Ciao. See ya. Goodbye.  
  
Mrs. Tweedy- Be gone already.  
  
Some Guy- Fine! I know when I'm not needed.  
  
Ginger and Mrs. Tweedy- Good for you!  
  
Some Guy- OK. Goodbye.  
  
Ginger- Mrs. Tweedy, are you done knitting that noose yet?  
  
Mrs. Tweedy- Yup, here it is. (Tosses yarn noose)  
  
Ginger- (Tosses noose) Yes I got him. OK. Now do away with him!  
  
Mrs. Tweedy- OK! (Runs out the door dragging the guy)  
  
Ginger- While Mrs. Tweedy is doing something with the guy, read this stupid interview that makes sense. ??????????????????????????????????????????????? Mew and Mewtwo  
  
Mew- Welcome another interview. I'm interviewing friend Mewtwo.  
  
Mewtwo- Hi, welcome to the show.  
  
Mew- Is it true that I evolve into Mewtwo?  
  
Mewtwo- You gotta be crazy. No ways do Mews envolve into Mewtwos.  
  
Mew- Is there such thing as a "Syber Mew" that envolves from Mewtwo?  
  
Mewtwo- Who told you this? Michael Rockabruna?  
  
Mew- Yes. In fact he traded his Porygon, Paras and Parasect for a Pigeot!  
  
Mewtwo- What a gyp! Anyway, there is no such thing as a "Syber Mew."  
  
Mew- Is such thing as a Charcolt, Spooky, and Blastsaur?  
  
Mewtwo- No way! Gee! That Rockabruna's an idiot.  
  
Mew- Gee, whiz! Thanks. That has been a short interview.  
  
The End ??????????????????????????????????????????????? Mrs. Tweedy- (Bursts through the door) Who wants some PIIIIIIIIIIIE?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?  
  
Ginger- Y-you turned someone into a pie?!  
  
Mrs. Tweedy- Yep. It's preety good.  
  
Ginger- (Backs away) Gee, no thank you. I just ate.  
  
Mrs. Tweedy- Fine I'll have this delicious pie without you.  
  
Ginger- Whew.  
  
Mrs. Tweedy- (Eats pie) You just missed a good pie.  
  
Ginger- I DON'T CARE!!!  
  
? The End?  
  
Mrs. Tweedy- If you don't eat it, I'll turn you into a pie! Ginger- I REALLY DON'T CARE AT ALL!!! Some Guy- There will be another interview soon. G'bye! This has been me, reporting from Mrs. Tweedy's stomach. 


	2. The Stage Crew-Filled Interview

Disclaimer- I do not own the movie, "Chicken Run". It was made in England by two England men, on whom I forgot their names. Movie made by Pathè Productions. Thank you. **************************************************************************** **********  
  
Ginger- Welcome to another interview. And now that some guy has been eliminated, I think that we can actually finish this interview.  
  
Mrs. Tweedy- No! Not yet! I have to watch the ending of Double Dare 2000.  
  
Ginger- What's happening?! And why did you decide to watch TV in the beginning of an interview?!!?!?!?!?!??!?!?!?!?!?!?  
  
Mrs. Tweedy- If that stupid red team wins the grand prize and all of those other really good prizes, I'm gonna put an axe through the TV.  
  
Jason Herron- And the red team gets all the prizes.  
  
Mrs. Tweedy- Where's the axe?  
  
Ginger- For one thing, we don't have an axe. Second thing, you're not putting an axe through our TV.  
  
Mrs. Tweedy- Ginger, we don't have a TV anymore.  
  
Ginger- How?  
  
Mrs. Tweedy- It.disappeared.  
  
  
  
The Stage Crew-Filled Interview  
  
By Silverlink  
  
Ginger- All we have these two chairs.  
  
Mrs. Tweedy- We don't even have an audience.  
  
Ginger- (Stands on chair) I demand to know who did this. **The UK flag is the background** I've been here for one year and I should have the right to know!  
  
Mrs. Tweedy- (Stands up with Ginger) That's right. **Background changes back to the ugly stage back ground**  
  
Stage Crew 1- I'm sorry ladies, but I'm gonna have to throw you out.  
  
Ginger- Is that sooo?  
  
Stage Crew 2- Out you go. (Throws Ginger and Mrs. Tweedy out the door)  
  
Outside  
  
Ginger and Mrs. Tweedy- (Lay in the snow)  
  
Mrs. Tweedy- Yuck, I hate the snow.  
  
Ginger- Ohhh, shut up. You hate everything. You better be happy that we didn't get hurt.  
  
Stage Crew 1- (Throws the chairs. They land on the peoples' legs)  
  
Mrs. Tweedy- "You better be happy we didn't get hurt".shut up.  
  
Some Guy #2- Later.  
  
Ginger- Hey look! A pay phone! Let's call the police!!!  
  
  
  
  
  
Inside the booth  
  
Ginger- I can't reach the freakin' phone! It's about 30 feet above me!  
  
Mrs. Tweedy- It's just 5 feet above you!  
  
Ginger- Seeeee?!?!?!?!?!?!? Now give me a boost.  
  
Mrs. Tweedy- No. Go get a phone book.  
  
Ginger- It's too heavy. Why don't you call? Anyway, you're taller than me.  
  
Mrs. Tweedy- By 4 feet and 5 inches. I'm 6'10 and you're 2'05. Even Silverlink did the math and measuring-just ask her.  
  
Silverlink- That's right. You see 6'10 minus 2'05 equals 4'05. I'm pretty sure.  
  
Ginger- Whatever! Just call.  
  
Mrs. Tweedy- (Groans) Must I do everything?  
  
Some Guy #2- Time for a commercial break.  
  
Ginger and Mrs. Tweedy- Who said that? ???????????????????????????????????????????????? Comercials  
  
Raichu- Get the new "Pokemon Blues" CD!Pikachu- Its good music will surely "shock" you! Raichu- Here, hear one of its tunes. Pikachu- (Puts in CD) CD- Hey Digimon, hey Digimon! Friends to all the boys and girls. Hey Digimon, hey Digimom! Champions of the Digital World!  
  
Link- When you have trouble with a dragon. Volvagia- Buy them "Dragon Chewie Treats." Link- Volvagia just loves them. (Tosses one into the air) Volvagia- And they're about the size of a small mattress. (Swallows treat whole) Link- So buy them. Volvagia- I want another one! (Blows fire on Link's butt) Link- OOOOOWWWWWWWWW!!!  
  
Yoshi- If you're a ghost and you need some cereal. Larry- Then buy "Transparent-Os." Yoshi- It's the transparent cereal that goes right through you. ????????????????????????????????????????????????  
  
Back in the booth  
  
Mrs. Tweedy- Look man, here's the phone. Now talk inside of it.  
  
Ginger- I know how to use a phone, thank you!  
  
Mrs. Tweedy- Since when do chickens know how to use phones? But, hey, I don't know you chickens' schemes. You may be planning to burn up the sun.somehow. Stupid, dirty, worthless creatures.  
  
Ginger- Hello.hi police. Look we have a problem. Mrs. Tweedy and I were having an interview when some stage crew guys threw us out. You'll help. Really? Gee whiz, thanks! We're right across the street from you. Bye!  
  
Outside the X-it  
  
Ginger- OK. Here's the plan. We attack the stage crew guys and then we sit in them until the police comes.  
  
Mrs. Tweedy- OK. Let's go.  
  
Inside the Interview Office- Later After the Attack  
  
Mrs. Tweedy- So what do we do while sitting on these guys? Ginger- You wanna play cards? (Shuffles deck and passes out cards)  
  
Mrs. Tweedy- Got any Aces?  
  
Ginger- Go fish!  
  
Some Guy #2- One hour later.  
  
Ginger- (Snickers) In this book...haha! The guy-haha! He got- he got- uh, I forget.  
  
Mrs. Tweedy- Figures.  
  
Ginger- Let's finish our interview from 5 days ago. OK, so why do hate the man of the family?  
  
Mrs. Tweedy- He asks me these stupid questions, he wrecks everything and because he's a plain NUT!!!  
  
Ginger- Ooookaaaaay.**Phone rings** Hello? What do you mean you're lost?!?!? You're right across the street from us! (Hangs up phone) Stuuuupid police.  
  
Mrs. Tweedy- Before you start a riot, I made you the nice blue sweater.  
  
Ginger- Gee whiz! (Puts it on) **Police burt though door**  
  
Police- I'm sorry ladies but your under arrest for hurting stage crew.  
  
Ginger- How could WE be under arrest?! We called you for the stage crew!!!!  
  
  
  
In Jail  
  
Stage Crew #1- (Walks in front of jail cell with a big sack 'o money) Hi girls.  
  
Mrs. Tweedy- I demand you to use some of that money to bail us out.  
  
Stage Crew #2- But we have 1,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000 pounds!!!  
  
Mrs. Tweedy- I'll give you 1,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000 pounds, too- 1,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000 pounds in the face, if you don't get us outta here!  
  
Ginger- The truth hurts.Goodnight people.  
  
Some Guy #2- Hear the greatest commercial!!! ???????????????????????????????????????????????? Girls- ??Hackensack Zoo! Hackensack Zoo!  
  
Boys- All of our facilities are shiny and new.  
  
Girls- The animals do great tricks for you.  
  
Boys- So bring the family.  
  
Girls- and Aunt Billie, too!  
  
Girls and Boys- And come to the Hackensack Zooo!??  
  
Mr. Prescott- There are no refunds! ???????????????????????????????????????????????? In Jail  
  
Ginger- Well, so long people. May be in the next interview, Silverlink will make be free again.  
  
Silverlink- Har, har. Maybe.  
  
Ginger- WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!!!!!  
  
  
  
? The End.Or is it? 


End file.
